Post by XAVIER NICHOLLS on May 3, 2012 19:49:28 GMT 10
[style=width: 493px; padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-right: 7px; font-size: 17px; font-family: arial; text-transform: UPPERCASE; font-style: italic; text-shadow: 1px 1px 2px #000000; color: #fefefe; background-image: url(http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s319/XxplaidXisXradxX/BaCkGrOuNdS/88f1a.png); text-align: right;"]xavier james nicholls.
[/style][style=width: 500px; background-color: #7E8B91; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 1.1px; text-transform: uppercase; font -family: calibri, arial; font-weight: normal; text-align: center; color: #fefefe;"]KELLIN QUINN | XAVE | 22 | GHOSTS OF THE ATTIC | VOCALS | BISEXUAL
ten most recent tweets:
@xaviersinyourattic: i woke up with my dick covered in glitter. i'm not even going to ask.
@xaviersinyourattic: for me it was all "i can finally do what i've been doing illegally for years legally now." i don't get what's so special.
@xaviersinyourattic: so someone care to fill me in on what the big hooplah about turning twenty one is?
@xaviersinyourattic: i wish i had a goat in high school.
@xaviersinyourattic: DO YOU SEE THE LLAMA I SEE THE FUCKING LLAMA.
@xaviersinyourattic: no takers? damn.
@xaviersinyourattic: who wants to go out and show the kids in the parking lot how it's actually done?
@xaviersinyourattic: god it's friday night and i'm fucking sober what is this.
@xaviersinyourattic: my pocket tweeted you all. how kind.
@xaviersinyourattic: gjajgajjgsa
nine facts:
- he cannot stand clowns or balloons.
- one would think he'd be sensitive about his height, as he's only barely 5'8 - but honestly he's not. he got enough shit for it all during his school career that he's kind of given up caring.
- his favourite colour is red. once upon a time it was purple, but then he decided he didn't like that after his friends told him that purple was a girl's colour. he still likes purple though, but red's definitely become his favourite over the years.
- he cannot stand hospitals. at all. this is probably because two of his friends died in one - that and they're just flat out strange and sterile, not to mention typically a blinding shade of white. if there are even shades of white.
- his hearing in his right ear is a little worse for wear and not that brilliant. he's never really told anyone why, should the topic ever come up in conversation. however, it's believed to be because of the accident.
- he can speak two languages. english and spanish. he learned spanish in school, and before he got into alcohol was quite a good student, at the top of his class in fact, despite the fact that he seemed to be paying little to no attention in class.
- he can bend his thumb back to touch his wrist without dislocating it. he can also bend his other fingers in odd directions.
- he loves lady gaga.
- xavier has attempted to kill himself a total of eight times, five of those attempts being in the first year after the accident.
- he only started the drugs after the indirect suggestion of his friend. he was having an argument with tahlia, and she blurted out something about them numbing her feelings and making her feel better than she already was. he took the drugs from her, and stormed out, shoving them into the far corner of one of his drawers so she wouldn't find them. however, it was a few days later that he broke down and remembered her words, and tried some. and then some more. and then some more - and then he did something he isn't proud of, he stole more from tahlia. her whole stash, in fact.
eight likes:
- good food: "they say food is the way to a guy's heart - this goes for me too. make me good, homemade food and i'm yours."
- drugs: "at first i hated these more than anything in this world. i couldn't understand why someone would want to put themselves at that sort of risk - and addiction was not a pretty thing at all. of course at the time i was only an alcoholic, but the things even that did to me was horrible. but then, i tried them. and tahlia was right. for once, the guilt was gone. when i came down though, it was back. and that was how my addiction started i suppose. now while i can function without them sometimes, i'm all crabby and shit."
- video games: "it's a typical kind of guy thing i suppose. i really love video games and while i love to go out and get smashed i'd prefer to stay in, get high, and play video games."
- rain: "i don't know there's something really nice about rain and rainy days. it's calming? i don't really fucking know i just like rain."
- fridays: "i think this is from high school because fridays signaled the end of the week, when i could do what i wanted."
- peanut butter: "peanut butter and m&m's are pretty much my favourite foods aside from my grandmother's cooking and any sort of mexican food. i don't know why but i love peanut butter. i think it's the taste or something but i often eat it straight from the jar."
- lady gaga: "i know it's kind of weird but i love this woman so much. she's really fucking talented and hot too. i wouldn't say no if she was on my bed."
- alcohol: "before i was a drug addict, i was an alcoholic. alcohol... i can't do without it really. i feel that without it i'm boring as fuck and people don't want to spend time with me. but basically, i love the feeling it gives me, even if i hate hangovers."
seven most recently played songs on itunes:
- my apocalypse by escape the fate: "never fall asleep, you won't wake up. destroy the guillotine before he does."
- born this way by lady gaga: "i'm on the right track, baby i was born this way."
- situations by escape the fate: "situations are irrelevant now. she loves the way that i tease i love the way that she breathes."
- the sky under the sea by pierce the veil: "and some day i'll drive, close both my eyes. i'll be your breath if you can be mine."
- not afraid by eminem: "i'm not afraid, to take a stand. everybody, come take my hand. we walk this road together, through the storm."
- jesus of suburbia by green day: "i'm the son of rage and love, the jesus of suburbia. the bible of none of the above on a steady diet of soda pop and ritalin."
- the past should stay dead by emarosa: "for once let's leave the dreaming to someone else. our time has slipped away, we're sinking faster."
six things you'll find in his bunk:
- his cellphone: "i'm always looking for this piece of shit.. i mean phone. let's say most of the time me and the phone don't get along. actually, fuck that - me and technology in general."
- odd socks: "these fuckers fell off during the night unfortunately."
- empty bottle of jack daniels: "i wonder how this got here... i suppose i dumped it here last night?"
- some sort of brown paper bag with unknown contents: "oh... don't mind this. it's nothing important, i thought i put it away. i should have, it cost me a pretty penny."
- a hoodie: "yeah, i kind of just throw things onto my bunk. i'm not a very clean guy unfortunately, i always get far too fucking lazy to clean.
- the tv remote: "oh hey, so that's where this went to."
five recent purchases:
- a six pack of beer: "i kind of drank what was left in the fridge. and when i do shit like that i try to replace it to avoid a fight."
- new toms: "i wore my old ones far too much, to the point the sole was starting to wear on them."
- a pack of cigarettes: "i think this explains itself really, but i was all out of cigarettes and other shit so i made a stop for all that kind of stuff this morning."
- a few small bags of an unidentifiable substance: "yeah basically this morning i woke up. and horror of all horrors i realised i was all out of shit so i went to go get some more. not paid for by me, obviously. i do get money but it doesn't last long... so i often get friends to pay for it."
- a pack of m&m's: "i love these fuckers. even if it takes me forever and a day to eat them because i feel this urge to sort them into groups by colour, then eat them two by two."
four dislikes:
- religion: "maybe this is because i was forced into it when i was younger, i'm not entirely sure. all i know is i pretty much hate religion more than anything else in this world because most religions that i know of are not accepting of... people like me, bisexual people."
- homophobic people: "i guess this is because of my sexuality? i'm not sure. all i know is this is up there in my top two hated things."
- having to have patience: "i've got to be the world's most impatient person ever. it's so bad."
- balloons: "i have the worst fear of balloons. that and clowns scare me to my very core. god they're just both so fucking creepy and shit."
three memories:
- "hmm, my first important memory would maybe be when my mother died. i was... thirteen? who knows. she had been battling cancer on and off for years, and we thought it was gone. we thought she'd won this battle, we thought she'd been stronger than the disease. however, eight months before her death, we found that no, it was not gone. no, she had not beaten the disease. she was given six months to live. she managed two more months, but it was the worst thing watching your mother slowly slip away in a hospital bed and know there was nothing you could do. zane didn't really care, he never really cared about too much - and noelle was far too young to understand. after that, my father decided we needed a fresh start so we uprooted to go live in las vegas, where we happened to have a cousin or something of that nature. it was a little after we moved that he slipped into a depression."
- "my second most vivid memory is probably the one i hate the most. it was a cold, stormy night. vivian had announced to me that she was three months pregnant four months before that particular night. that was the night i killed her. not intentionally of course, i'm not fucking crazy or some shit. but basically, we were hungry and she really wanted some fries. we went out to a 24 hour diner with some of our friends, the car packed, the music loud. it was on the way home that it happened, we were all out of our minds, but i was the most sober. thankfully there were no cop cars, but the car suddenly locked up as we turned a corner, and we slid into a firetruck. i'll never forget the sickening sound of metal scraping on metal, or the feeling of the glass shattering right next to my ear. i'll never forget seeing vivian in her own blood, knowing that it was my fault. knowing that it was my fault and the fact i couldn't fucking drive properly that caused it. my other friend, chase, also died on impact. the rest of the occupants - dave, and sam, died at the hospital. that's why i hate hospitals."
- "my third most vivid memory would be the first time i tried drugs. i was once friends with a girl named tahlia - i'd met her not long before the crash. she was close with vivian, we kind of bonded over the loss of her. regardless, when i found out she was doing drugs, i went crazy. i couldn't comprehend why the fuck she would want to do that. i'd seen what addiction did to people, what alcohol addiction did to myself. it wasn't pretty at all. we had a fight about it - one where we basically ended up running in circles. when two stubborn shitheads fight it doesn't usually get anywhere, let's say that. i took one of the baggies from her, and stormed out, ignoring the insults she was yelling at me. i'd shoved it away in my drawer, to never be remembered about again, and made plans to take the rest of her stash. it was when her words came back to me though - it numbs the pain and makes you feel better than you already are - i promised myself i wouldn't for hours, but i just couldn't resist any longer. i prepared the lines, told myself this would be a one time only thing to see what she was on about, and i did them. but it didn't stop there. it's honestly a wonder how i'm not dead yet with half of the shit i do but oh well. i've had a few times when i've cut it close but you know, what's life without a little risk?"
two secrets:
- a lot of people know about xavier's problems - more specifically, his addictions. what they don't know is his hatred towards himself. constantly bullied by his brother, and even by his father, this begun long before the accident. the accident has made it worse, however the bullying he's endured is the main cause. his father doesn't like him much because he's for many reasons, the main one being xavier's sexuality. in xavier's own words, his father is a homophobic bastard. zane was always the better kid, the smart one, the responsible one, the straight one. the two couldn't be more different, and xavier's father was constantly complaining and asking why xavier couldn't be more like his brother, why he had to be a 'faggot'. (those are the words of his father, not my own.)
- when people want a relationship with him, he tries to convince them out of it by saying that he'll only hurt them. however, the real reason that he doesn't like relationships is the fact that he's terrified of being hurt himself. he's terrified of being cheated on, dumped, or just simply not wanted. which is a little ironic - if he happens to wind up in a relationship his most common way out is cheating.
one hidden talent:
- he can actually cook, quite well in fact. it's something he's learnt from his grandmother during the years that he lived in england. he spent a lot more time at his grandparent's than at his own home, mostly because of his brother zane. let's say the two didn't get along well, right from the word go and xavier tried to spend as little time around him as possible. this meant he ended up at his grandmother's a lot of the time, and there for entertainment she tried to teach the boy to cook. this was something he pursued even after he moved to vegas - when his father sank into a depression, he would cook dinner for the rest of the family although zane would never eat it, going on about something ridiculous like xavier poisoning it, and opted to eat junk food.
@xaviersinyourattic: i woke up with my dick covered in glitter. i'm not even going to ask.
@xaviersinyourattic: for me it was all "i can finally do what i've been doing illegally for years legally now." i don't get what's so special.
@xaviersinyourattic: so someone care to fill me in on what the big hooplah about turning twenty one is?
@xaviersinyourattic: i wish i had a goat in high school.
@xaviersinyourattic: DO YOU SEE THE LLAMA I SEE THE FUCKING LLAMA.
@xaviersinyourattic: no takers? damn.
@xaviersinyourattic: who wants to go out and show the kids in the parking lot how it's actually done?
@xaviersinyourattic: god it's friday night and i'm fucking sober what is this.
@xaviersinyourattic: my pocket tweeted you all. how kind.
@xaviersinyourattic: gjajgajjgsa
nine facts:
- he cannot stand clowns or balloons.
- one would think he'd be sensitive about his height, as he's only barely 5'8 - but honestly he's not. he got enough shit for it all during his school career that he's kind of given up caring.
- his favourite colour is red. once upon a time it was purple, but then he decided he didn't like that after his friends told him that purple was a girl's colour. he still likes purple though, but red's definitely become his favourite over the years.
- he cannot stand hospitals. at all. this is probably because two of his friends died in one - that and they're just flat out strange and sterile, not to mention typically a blinding shade of white. if there are even shades of white.
- his hearing in his right ear is a little worse for wear and not that brilliant. he's never really told anyone why, should the topic ever come up in conversation. however, it's believed to be because of the accident.
- he can speak two languages. english and spanish. he learned spanish in school, and before he got into alcohol was quite a good student, at the top of his class in fact, despite the fact that he seemed to be paying little to no attention in class.
- he can bend his thumb back to touch his wrist without dislocating it. he can also bend his other fingers in odd directions.
- he loves lady gaga.
- xavier has attempted to kill himself a total of eight times, five of those attempts being in the first year after the accident.
- he only started the drugs after the indirect suggestion of his friend. he was having an argument with tahlia, and she blurted out something about them numbing her feelings and making her feel better than she already was. he took the drugs from her, and stormed out, shoving them into the far corner of one of his drawers so she wouldn't find them. however, it was a few days later that he broke down and remembered her words, and tried some. and then some more. and then some more - and then he did something he isn't proud of, he stole more from tahlia. her whole stash, in fact.
eight likes:
- good food: "they say food is the way to a guy's heart - this goes for me too. make me good, homemade food and i'm yours."
- drugs: "at first i hated these more than anything in this world. i couldn't understand why someone would want to put themselves at that sort of risk - and addiction was not a pretty thing at all. of course at the time i was only an alcoholic, but the things even that did to me was horrible. but then, i tried them. and tahlia was right. for once, the guilt was gone. when i came down though, it was back. and that was how my addiction started i suppose. now while i can function without them sometimes, i'm all crabby and shit."
- video games: "it's a typical kind of guy thing i suppose. i really love video games and while i love to go out and get smashed i'd prefer to stay in, get high, and play video games."
- rain: "i don't know there's something really nice about rain and rainy days. it's calming? i don't really fucking know i just like rain."
- fridays: "i think this is from high school because fridays signaled the end of the week, when i could do what i wanted."
- peanut butter: "peanut butter and m&m's are pretty much my favourite foods aside from my grandmother's cooking and any sort of mexican food. i don't know why but i love peanut butter. i think it's the taste or something but i often eat it straight from the jar."
- lady gaga: "i know it's kind of weird but i love this woman so much. she's really fucking talented and hot too. i wouldn't say no if she was on my bed."
- alcohol: "before i was a drug addict, i was an alcoholic. alcohol... i can't do without it really. i feel that without it i'm boring as fuck and people don't want to spend time with me. but basically, i love the feeling it gives me, even if i hate hangovers."
seven most recently played songs on itunes:
- my apocalypse by escape the fate: "never fall asleep, you won't wake up. destroy the guillotine before he does."
- born this way by lady gaga: "i'm on the right track, baby i was born this way."
- situations by escape the fate: "situations are irrelevant now. she loves the way that i tease i love the way that she breathes."
- the sky under the sea by pierce the veil: "and some day i'll drive, close both my eyes. i'll be your breath if you can be mine."
- not afraid by eminem: "i'm not afraid, to take a stand. everybody, come take my hand. we walk this road together, through the storm."
- jesus of suburbia by green day: "i'm the son of rage and love, the jesus of suburbia. the bible of none of the above on a steady diet of soda pop and ritalin."
- the past should stay dead by emarosa: "for once let's leave the dreaming to someone else. our time has slipped away, we're sinking faster."
six things you'll find in his bunk:
- his cellphone: "i'm always looking for this piece of shit.. i mean phone. let's say most of the time me and the phone don't get along. actually, fuck that - me and technology in general."
- odd socks: "these fuckers fell off during the night unfortunately."
- empty bottle of jack daniels: "i wonder how this got here... i suppose i dumped it here last night?"
- some sort of brown paper bag with unknown contents: "oh... don't mind this. it's nothing important, i thought i put it away. i should have, it cost me a pretty penny."
- a hoodie: "yeah, i kind of just throw things onto my bunk. i'm not a very clean guy unfortunately, i always get far too fucking lazy to clean.
- the tv remote: "oh hey, so that's where this went to."
five recent purchases:
- a six pack of beer: "i kind of drank what was left in the fridge. and when i do shit like that i try to replace it to avoid a fight."
- new toms: "i wore my old ones far too much, to the point the sole was starting to wear on them."
- a pack of cigarettes: "i think this explains itself really, but i was all out of cigarettes and other shit so i made a stop for all that kind of stuff this morning."
- a few small bags of an unidentifiable substance: "yeah basically this morning i woke up. and horror of all horrors i realised i was all out of shit so i went to go get some more. not paid for by me, obviously. i do get money but it doesn't last long... so i often get friends to pay for it."
- a pack of m&m's: "i love these fuckers. even if it takes me forever and a day to eat them because i feel this urge to sort them into groups by colour, then eat them two by two."
four dislikes:
- religion: "maybe this is because i was forced into it when i was younger, i'm not entirely sure. all i know is i pretty much hate religion more than anything else in this world because most religions that i know of are not accepting of... people like me, bisexual people."
- homophobic people: "i guess this is because of my sexuality? i'm not sure. all i know is this is up there in my top two hated things."
- having to have patience: "i've got to be the world's most impatient person ever. it's so bad."
- balloons: "i have the worst fear of balloons. that and clowns scare me to my very core. god they're just both so fucking creepy and shit."
three memories:
- "hmm, my first important memory would maybe be when my mother died. i was... thirteen? who knows. she had been battling cancer on and off for years, and we thought it was gone. we thought she'd won this battle, we thought she'd been stronger than the disease. however, eight months before her death, we found that no, it was not gone. no, she had not beaten the disease. she was given six months to live. she managed two more months, but it was the worst thing watching your mother slowly slip away in a hospital bed and know there was nothing you could do. zane didn't really care, he never really cared about too much - and noelle was far too young to understand. after that, my father decided we needed a fresh start so we uprooted to go live in las vegas, where we happened to have a cousin or something of that nature. it was a little after we moved that he slipped into a depression."
- "my second most vivid memory is probably the one i hate the most. it was a cold, stormy night. vivian had announced to me that she was three months pregnant four months before that particular night. that was the night i killed her. not intentionally of course, i'm not fucking crazy or some shit. but basically, we were hungry and she really wanted some fries. we went out to a 24 hour diner with some of our friends, the car packed, the music loud. it was on the way home that it happened, we were all out of our minds, but i was the most sober. thankfully there were no cop cars, but the car suddenly locked up as we turned a corner, and we slid into a firetruck. i'll never forget the sickening sound of metal scraping on metal, or the feeling of the glass shattering right next to my ear. i'll never forget seeing vivian in her own blood, knowing that it was my fault. knowing that it was my fault and the fact i couldn't fucking drive properly that caused it. my other friend, chase, also died on impact. the rest of the occupants - dave, and sam, died at the hospital. that's why i hate hospitals."
- "my third most vivid memory would be the first time i tried drugs. i was once friends with a girl named tahlia - i'd met her not long before the crash. she was close with vivian, we kind of bonded over the loss of her. regardless, when i found out she was doing drugs, i went crazy. i couldn't comprehend why the fuck she would want to do that. i'd seen what addiction did to people, what alcohol addiction did to myself. it wasn't pretty at all. we had a fight about it - one where we basically ended up running in circles. when two stubborn shitheads fight it doesn't usually get anywhere, let's say that. i took one of the baggies from her, and stormed out, ignoring the insults she was yelling at me. i'd shoved it away in my drawer, to never be remembered about again, and made plans to take the rest of her stash. it was when her words came back to me though - it numbs the pain and makes you feel better than you already are - i promised myself i wouldn't for hours, but i just couldn't resist any longer. i prepared the lines, told myself this would be a one time only thing to see what she was on about, and i did them. but it didn't stop there. it's honestly a wonder how i'm not dead yet with half of the shit i do but oh well. i've had a few times when i've cut it close but you know, what's life without a little risk?"
two secrets:
- a lot of people know about xavier's problems - more specifically, his addictions. what they don't know is his hatred towards himself. constantly bullied by his brother, and even by his father, this begun long before the accident. the accident has made it worse, however the bullying he's endured is the main cause. his father doesn't like him much because he's for many reasons, the main one being xavier's sexuality. in xavier's own words, his father is a homophobic bastard. zane was always the better kid, the smart one, the responsible one, the straight one. the two couldn't be more different, and xavier's father was constantly complaining and asking why xavier couldn't be more like his brother, why he had to be a 'faggot'. (those are the words of his father, not my own.)
- when people want a relationship with him, he tries to convince them out of it by saying that he'll only hurt them. however, the real reason that he doesn't like relationships is the fact that he's terrified of being hurt himself. he's terrified of being cheated on, dumped, or just simply not wanted. which is a little ironic - if he happens to wind up in a relationship his most common way out is cheating.
one hidden talent:
- he can actually cook, quite well in fact. it's something he's learnt from his grandmother during the years that he lived in england. he spent a lot more time at his grandparent's than at his own home, mostly because of his brother zane. let's say the two didn't get along well, right from the word go and xavier tried to spend as little time around him as possible. this meant he ended up at his grandmother's a lot of the time, and there for entertainment she tried to teach the boy to cook. this was something he pursued even after he moved to vegas - when his father sank into a depression, he would cook dinner for the rest of the family although zane would never eat it, going on about something ridiculous like xavier poisoning it, and opted to eat junk food.
MICHAELA | 16 BRO | who cares about this | gmt +10
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